June 1st, 2002 - 12:10 a.m.

Fickleness on the issue of Academia.

It is a fact that I am woefully undereducated in the systems of Latin and non-surface aspects of art and literature. And at this point it makes one wonder if there will come a day in which I shall have to drag myself by the hair, and pull through the arduous process that is a formal education.

Sadly, we have been at this point before with this fickle academic ambition of mine, and after no less then two attempts at a ridiculous decade length doctorate, all I had to show is a pile of simple texts and a stylish book bag with adorable metal feet (sadly, accidentally marked with the monogrammed pen during a note taking session in the psych class.) After which I swore off academia and all of its progeny.

It sickens to be here again. Thought it would have taken several years at least to even begin the consideration process of an university career. Mais non, life moves too fast in this head of mine.

But I ought not even entertain such passing fascinations because I am merely acting like a young girl enamoured with a boy for his looks. I want all the useless knowledge and prestige of a degree, but have no desire to actually expend effort and time into one. Such juvenile laziness! I ought to be ashamed. For shame, Nastenka! For shame.

Unfortunately, self scolding shall produce no fruit. I think I just require something upon which to pour energy and time. Yes. Ich waite.

N.

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