March 20th, 2002 - 1:25 p.m.

gorgeousness, and a list of beautiful things

ah, it is a rainy day. gorgeous.

woke up with tension back ache, head ache. but really could not care less. bah i say to the pain. bah!

i will never die. i will be here forever. though must remember: do not fly too close to the sun, or these wings are sure to melt. but that shall not be a problem today.

the rain is quickly turning into snow, falling like lost dancers, buoyed by the wind. ah, beauty. "and he* makes me want to hand myself over." (*he does not denote an actual person) it wells up in my heart. and i fear that i shall implode from these feelings gathering inside of me. on the verge of tears. i am living in my sanctuary. my utopia. the minutes pass by, blurry, dreamlike.

beautiful things:
ivy (or any vegetation) growing on vast cement walls
small children (or people in general, sometimes it is all the same)
singular or groups of light objects (leaves, debris, etc.) caught in a gust of wind
storm clouds and rain
hands
eyes
the small of the back
laqured wood
blue-black skin under white silk gauze
mathematical precision
moments in which everything seems to stand still
intricate handwork (weaving, carving, etc.)
clear water sitting in a sturdy bauhaus-esque glass
pearls (of the baroque sort)
a pleasent meal
that moment between asleep and awake when the room is of a perfect temperature and one feels the gentle brush of someone else's skin
a feeling of mutual satisfaction
the collective patchwork of the tops of trees
love for everything and nothing all at once

n.

�