March 15th, 2002 - 12:04 a.m.

girl, strangness, impatience, stupidity, lust, and hats.

so many attractive people on the subway this afternoon. saw a girl who looked all too similar to me. she was more conventionally pretty then i, however. she did not look amused at our similarities. glared. hid behind her russian fashion mag.

d. happens to be getting a divorce as well. hmm. things are strange sometimes.

waiting makes me all too impatient. and i no longer have intention to wait any longer. forget it. because, taboo or no taboo, it is not happening. (such strong resolve!)

went through series of moods today. from: semi-jovial, to hungry, to unimpressed, to surly, to depressed, back to semi-jovial, to happy, and now to neutral.

the most atrocious girl in a sushi restaurant today. showing a boy her paper for her masters; "something and the politicalization of friedrich nietzsche", it was called. it started with a fairly innocent: can you check it for me. then progressed to: i think this idea is just fantastic? don't you? which turned into a fucken can-you-please-stroke-my-ego-because-i-think-i-am-brilliant-but-am-not-sure-because-i-am-oh-so-insecure-and-i-need-your-validation-and-i-want-you-to-think-that-i-am-smart-so-that-you-will-dump-your-prettier-and-smarter-girlfriend-for-my-ugly-insecure-self festival. it was, and r. agreed, quite pathetic. and only served to further my contempt for the academic perversion that is university. have decided (for now), that i refuse to converse on topics that involve renouned intellectuals. i refuse to form essays on aforementioned individuals. i refuse to speak through the quotes and ideas of aforementioned individuals. have decided that have smaller things to worry about. like laundry, and the making of perfect toast.

really now, if you want to have sex with me, get in line. state your intentions clearly, so i may reject them. because all this inuendo is really too much, and is getting you nowhere. oy.

received two hats today. from lilliput hats of course. one black wool jockeyish cap, and one black straw asymetrical wide brimmed hat. most exciting.

this concludes my report.

n.

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