June 5th, 2002 - 12:12 p.m.

A complete lack of slumber.

Adoration. Love. Tenderness. Ah, such grand concepts.

The heat drenched atmosphere of summer is fast approaching, and I dread each second that passes. The thickness of the air, expands in the throat, and pushes the lungs, refusing to expel. It makes one want to remain lounging about all day, not doing a single thing. Not even stretching the ligaments. Nor rearranging the limbs. Like chimpanzees in the dry season. If only it were acceptable to lay about just as naked.

Cannot sleep. Just deplorable. Which only increases the stiffness of the back. The spine secured with wooden vices. If I had a metal hammer, I would shatter them all with a swift flick of the wrist. Splinters falling onto the skin. Drawing out the blood, resting like ruby red beetles.

Instead, nicotine calms. Enters the body, slowly. And provides momentary alleviation.

Oh, moments of euphoria. I want to stretch them out, and cover time.

N.

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