May 9th, 2002 - 11:09 p.m.

Youth, and ecstasy.

Regardez moi!! The grand spectacle. Have decided that my youth ought to be worshiped. Not my wit, nor my charm. My physical attractiveness, nor my cultivated mannerisms. But the youth, which is fleeting and surface, lacking in substance and permanence. For it shall not be here forever. And at this point, it seems important to worship moments in time; they shall never be regained.

Instruction for a moment of ecstasy: on a windy day, open all the windows to the living space, strip naked. As the wind tears through the room, stand with arms spread and legs apart, close eyes. Imagine perfection. Breathe deeply through the mouth, the wind stealing one fourth of the air. Feel the movement with the fingertips.

N.

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