March 11th, 2002. - 12:15 p.m.

awakening, exercise, and loft

the worst part of waking up is the tension back ache and general malaise. not a fresh way to start the morning. (despite the fact that i rarely awaken before the ripe hour of noonish, though this shall have to change as i transform from house pet status.) would like to be able to awaken feeling refreshed. mais non.

plan: to start exercising (despite abhorance to sweat) in order to build up strength. this fainting and out of breathedness simply will not do. will begin practicing punches, stances, kicks, and such. will work self up to point of being able to do carp up. this will require much strength. will become ubermensch. well, maybe. (solid resolve often makes one non-commital.) so, shall need to purchase exercising gear: shorts, sports bras, punching bag, padding for floors, hand wraps. (which weakens the resolve further, sports gear being so utterly unattractive.)

loft? maybe. still waiting. abhor waiting. such waste. like on a roller coaster, when it first starts that rise up the hill, but then, one has spent so much time waiting, anticipating, thinking, that the ride is boring at best. april first looms ever closer. (methinks that edward munch's 'puberty' best describes current mood, the etching, not the painting.)

n.

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