April 1st, 2003 - 3:39 a.m.

Manner in which to become a stylish clich� in an over-designed bar.

-wear all black with inherited jewellery, preferably diamonds set in anything but yellow gold

-be an unpublished writer

-order a cocktail titled after Hemingway, constructed of absinthe and champagne

-smoke imported cigs

-maintain a rich Jewish painter boyfriend, 16 years one's elder; whom is paying for one's series of psychotropic medications

-hold an expression of poised pensiveness, punctuated with occasional deep laughter at passers-by

-speak politely to incompetent staff in slightly aggravated tone

-sigh meaningfully at measured intervals

N.

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