November 25th, 2002 - 2:57 p.m.

A play.

VERT: A boy of about twelve, dressed in a green shirt and shorts. Barefoot.

THE TIGRESS: A female tiger, in a rectangular cage, just large enough to pace back and forth in.

FEMME: A naked woman, with floor length black hair, leashed to the Tigress' cage. Lounging on top of the cage, as one would on a chaise longues.

OSTRICH: An ostrich like creature with its neck bent downwards, with floppy ears.

(The stage is set with over saturated colours. The floor is a sharp plastic lawn of vibrant chartreuse grass. A video projection of white clouds billowing over an Effexor blue sky is the backdrop. On the left is a tree, it branches clothed with animal livers instead of leaves. The Tigress' cage is situated on the right.)

(Open scene with VERT sitting under the tree, pulling petals off of a large white lily and FEMME and TIGRESS in their places.)

VERT: She loves me, she loves me not. She cannot love me. She loves me?

FEMME: Gar�on? Petit gar�on, tell me how you captured this tiger in a cage. It seems quite a feat for a child of your stature.

VERT: What? What tiger? I see no tiger. I stumbled once, twice, thrice, and then some more. I awoke under this tree. Ah, how these pastures agree with me.

FEMME: So it was luck then? With luck you found yourself with a tiger in a cage?

(Enter OSTRICH)

OSTRICH: Questions! Irrelevant! The tiger is in the cage. That is plain enough.

VERT: (with tears in his eyes.) She does not love me. She could not love me.

OSTRICH: (laughs.) A boy with a lily under a liver tree? Why would anyone play in this scene? Snap out of it. Or I shall snap you.

FEMME: In two?

OSTRICH: In threes if so necessary. (Runs around, flapping its wings, pecks VERT violently on the head. VERT faints from the blow.) Well, that is much better. Quiet. At long last.

FEMME: Well, I never! A petit gar�on in love, and this is how it is treated.

OSTRICH: You really ought to. It is simple, like the flicking of a light switch. We are bored of this. Too much sentimentality and strife breeds an omni nonchalance.

(Enter a noisy barrage of miscellaneous people from the right side. Loudly discussing a need for mathematical precision. One of them carries a large cross, erects it under the tree, and ties the unconscious VERT to it. A flowering orchid plant is placed at VERT's feet. The barrage exits, discussing how mathematics have been logically rectified.)

OSTRICH: Well, that was predictable. Dinner, is served. (Consumes the orchids.) He could not have put them to much use anyways. Boys should not be trusted with such delicate playthings. Particularly boys prone to false martyrdom.

VERT: (Awakens.) I love her. I love her. I love her. Cannot anyone see that?

OSTRICH: The incompetentancy is plain enough. Or incoherence. I cannot be bothered to remember which. Wheeeeeeeeeeeee. (Runs in circles, flapping its wings.)

FEMME: This is an awful bore. Whom does he love? What is all this?

OSTRICH: Himself, your worshipable silliness.

FEMME: In that case, I am done. (Detaches leash, opens cage, leaves the stage with OSTRICH, discussing the downfall of mathematics.)

(TIGERESS paces back and forth in front of stage, lets out a a yawn. Pounces, and consumes VERT. Exit TIGERESS on left. Re-enter FEMME on right clothed in white.)

FEMME: Oh, look. Another one. (Takes liver out of VERT's corpse, her dress becoming stained with blood, ties a green ribbon around the liver, and hangs it off the tree.) That ought to do it. (Exit on left.)

(The cage is removed off stage by burly men in dirty clothes smoking and cursing. They re-erect the cross with VERT's corpse, and exit, laughing at a crude joke they are sharing. Directly over the cross, lilies fall in a dramatic fashion from ceiling, which blanket the base of the cross.)

(Re-enter on right, FEMME and OSTRICH.)

FEMME: Such a waste. Such tragedy. Such...

OSTRICH: Your saccharine feminine delusions are lost on me.

FEMME: I know. I cannot seem to find me either.

OSTRICH: Did you try looking?

FEMME: Goodness, no.

(Sudden curtain drop. Fade to black.)

�