May 22nd, 2002 - 9:49 p.m.

Three lists.

Pick up lines that might work:
-I have just decided to abstain from chastity.
-May I waste your time?
-If you pretend to be interested, I will pretend to be entertaining.
-Your nonchalance is very well practiced.
-You are a most excellent specimen of the species.
-We are sure to break up amiably.
-May I be your clich� for the evening?
-Youth is for the stylishly bored, and the aged are meant to bore others. Are you bored, or boring?
-I had this line that I practiced in front of the mirror before I walked over here, but I have suddenly forgotten it.
-Is there some type of form I ought to fill out, or should I just proceed?
-This would be much easier if this society had a set of established mating calls.

Pick up lines that have not worked (tested on the young Madame by the masses, drastically abridged, responses in brackets):
-How did you get so good lookin�? (Genetic disposition I suppose.)
-Hey babe, can I buy you a drink? (No, thank you sir, I have one.)
-So, you like falafel? (Perhaps.)
-I really like your look, its very unique, here�s my number, call me sometime, we can get together and just talk. (Laughs, takes number out of politeness. Never phoned.)
-Hey gorgeous, mind if I sit down? (Yes.)
-Are you a tourist here? Need a place to stay? (Yes, I am. No, thank you. (Spoken by an ugly Parisian man.))
-Are those real pearls? (Yes, please leave me alone. (This indecorous specimen was staring at the breasts and licking lips. Was not looking at the pearls.))
-You are scandalously sexy. How about I take you back to my place for... coffee? (I am drinking coffee right now, and you obviously have more on your mind then coffee. If you cannot be elegant, at least you could be honest.)

Words that sound crude:
-succulent
-titillating

N.

�