May 12th, 2002 - 11:02 p.m.

This is not as it ought to seem.

It pushes through the body. Furrows the brow with pain.

Breaths quick, through the mouth. The lips swollen, feeling like foreign entities sitting on the face; and they are numb and sensitive, all at once.

Just want to keep the eyes closed.

The thoughts race each other, all proclaim to be the victor, and all want the medal. A multilateral knot in the throat, too tangled speak.

Noise is amplified, and startles. Causes an odd anxiety. And for a moment, it all feels too self indulgent.

A desire to feel physical pain, in order for the multitasking mind to focus on two things.

Then she snaps awake, and just tries to understand the general feeling.

As you see, depression is like sex, but without the pleasure. And the feel of skin against skin.

N.

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